From Self-Criticism to Self-Compassion: A Client’s Journey

It sounds simple - almost too simple - but there’s a quiet wisdom in those words.

Have you ever had a tension headache after a stressful day? Or felt sick to your stomach before a big event?

Why Small Steps Matter in Healing

Maybe you hold things in until they come out all at once. Maybe you soften your words to keep the peace and then feel invisible afterward. Or maybe you’ve been misunderstood so many times that saying nothing feels safer than speaking up.  I want you to know - this can change. And it doesn't start with finding the perfect words for other people. It starts with how you speak to yourself. The Words You Use with Yourself Matter If the voice in your mind is often critical, doubting, or dismissive, it’s no wonder communication feels hard. When we constantly question ourselves internally, it’s difficult to express ourselves clearly on the outside. But the beautiful thing is - this is something you can gently reshape. Just like any other habit, communication - both outward and inward - is something we learn. And with practice, we can unlearn patterns that no longer serve us and replace them with ways of speaking and listening that feel kinder, more honest, and more grounded. What Happens When Communication Becomes Clearer When you begin to communicate with more clarity and honesty, something shifts. You feel more heard. More understood. And most importantly, more connected to yourself. Some of the things that often follow are: 🌿 Stronger relationships – Misunderstandings reduce, needs are expressed more openly, and connection deepens. 🌿 Emotional release – The pressure of holding everything in softens. 🌿 Greater self-trust – You start to feel more confident in your voice. 🌿 Inner calm – Your inner dialogue becomes gentler, less chaotic, and more supportive. Of course, we all have moments where communication doesn’t come easily. But when that becomes the norm, when you’re walking away from conversations feeling unheard, silencing yourself to avoid conflict, or replaying what you said over and over - it may be time to look at how you're speaking to yourself too. The Link Between Self-Talk and Speaking Up So often, the way we communicate with others mirrors how we communicate internally. If you’ve spent years: – Dismissing your feelings – Doubting your instincts – Silencing what you really want to say …it’s understandable that it feels hard to be open and clear with others. But here’s the truth: Your voice is not too much. Your feelings are not a burden. You deserve to take up space in conversations - both out loud and in your own mind. A Story of Change: Letting the Inner Voice Soften Let me tell you about someone I worked with - we’ll call her Sarah. Sarah grew up in a household where emotions weren’t openly discussed. She learned to keep quiet, to guess what others were feeling, and to avoid conflict at all costs. In her adult life, that turned into people-pleasing. She’d often say yes when she meant no, and when she did speak up, her inner critic would punish her for it. We started with her internal dialogue. She began noticing just how often she was talking herself down, second-guessing everything she felt. And together, we gently rewrote the script. Instead of: “I’m being dramatic,” she began to say: “ My feelings are valid.” Instead of: “I t’s easier to stay quiet,” she began to believe: “ My needs are allowed to matter.” Over time, this shift inside began to ripple outward. Sarah started setting soft boundaries, asking for what she needed, and speaking more honestly in her relationships. And the result? She began to feel seen. One day, she shared a story about finally telling a close friend how something had been making her feel. Her voice shook, but she stayed with it. And her friend really listened. That moment was a turning point. Not because the conversation was perfect, but because it was true . You Can Get There Too If communication feels tangled - if you find yourself walking away from conversations feeling unheard, or if your own mind feels like the loudest critic—I want to gently remind you: It doesn’t have to stay this way. You can learn to: 💛 Speak to yourself with kindness 💛 Pause and respond with clarity 💛 Honour your needs without guilt 💛 Trust your voice - because it matters If you're ready to change how you speak to others and how you speak to yourself, I'm here to support you. Whether it's through therapy, EFT, or simply creating space for self-awareness, this kind of healing is absolutely possible. 📍 Based in George Street, Edinburgh 💌 Book a consultation here if you’re ready to explore a gentler, clearer way to communicate, inside and out. You don’t need perfect words. You just need honesty, self-trust, and a little compassion. Your voice is worth hearing. Let’s help you use it.

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